40 years in survival mode

Have you ever felt like you are “living it in the fullest”?

When was the last time that you have actually felt that and how was it? What were you actually doing?

And, how many times within the day (or should I say, week, month, year…life) do you stop and think (or become aware) that you are “living it in the fullest”?

Is there anything that “you don’t know that you don’t know”?

Mind-blowing, eh?

Well, what happens when you reach the milestone age of 40 years old and you realise more and more each day that you have spent half (or hopefully less than half) your life by simply trying to survive?

Simply trying to fit the norms, to fulfil expectations and… to “pay the rent”?

And, what is the feeling, what is the sense in your body and the thoughts in your head?

Most probably there is a blend of pessimistic disappointment, because you find out that most of your life you were not aligned to your deepest passions and inclinations, accompanied by an egoistic (but also conforming) feeling of “okey, I did well so far.”… “I survived”.

Of course, there are the lucky ones (maybe minority, especially for the previous generations) that are well aligned with their passions and they work for a purpose, a higher purpose, a deeper urge and inclination, and a sense of creation and contribution to something important and impactful.

Of course, the survival mode, does not only include what we do “in life” or what we do “for a life”, but it also includes how we are related to other people. Relationships and friendships, for the sake of having someone to spend time with, to retain a basic level of social life, and a sense of “normality”, to fit the norm and “belong” somewhere.

Attachments. And bonds. And behind those, there lies fear. Fear of abandonment, fear of helplessness, fear of not being “good enough”, or simply “enough”.

And also, a lot of effort. And energy. Energy that depletes you. Energy that sucks the life out of you, leaving you more and more exhausted.

Of course, we have to invest time and energy to anything. But, we have to pick our battles. We have to choose those actions that refill our batteries. That fill our glass. That feed our soul and our spirit.

And, what happens if the fear, the anxiety and the reluctance, were keeping you you behind for years and years?

What if you wake up and find out that you had the power, the skills, the beauty, the “star” and the “spirit” to do great things but you put them aside, digging them so deeply that you forgot they exist?

What if you are depleted, in a survival mode for 40 years?

Who and what “pays the rent” of living a “rented life”? And how do you find the energy and motivation to get out of the survival mode and actually, start living?

It takes courage. The courage to become aware, acknowledge and mourn for what you left behind.

Courage to start over. Courage to ask for help. To ask, in general.

It also takes time. One step back for many future steps forward.

Self-reflection, evaluation, honest feedback, empathy, and a plan ahead.

The skills acquired, the growth, the knowledge, the intelligence, the experience, are some important foundations to build a more honest, more original and more aligned life.

 They say that 80% of our thoughts, are negative, and notably, repetitively negative.

So, the recipe should include:

Limits, but not limiting beliefs.

Gratitude, and not taking anything for granted.

Faith, against fail.

Empathy, love, purpose, against ego, regret and pretend.

What if we change the nature of our thoughts, acknowledge the “ugly truths” and replace them with “positive truths?”

Have you tried it yet?

I am starting right now.

I replace the “40 years in survival mode” into “40 years of investment, growth and expansion” … and that’s only the beginning.

Because today it’s the oldest you have been, but also the youngest you will ever be. ❤️