Perception is projection

Love this one so much…

What you think of me, is what you think of you.

Whatever you see in me, already exists in you.

Whatever triggers you about me, it is something in you that you haven’t resolved yet.

Whatever you are able to perceive, it is merely a projection that you make to another person.

Perception is projection.

How many times this simple, yet complex statement, has put barriers in our communication with other people? How many times our principles and beliefs hinder us from actually perceiving the outer world? Many.

But, how does this actually happen and why?

For example, I accuse you of being weak, lazy, stupid or inferior, because I cannot stand my weakness, my laziness, my stupidity or my inferiority… So, I project this fear back to you, by accusing you for something I haven’t resolved yet, for something that is in me, but I cannot even think to stand and look at, let alone resolve it.

Some people even hate other people for certain things. For beauty, for money, for being smart or powerful. What they actually hate and put in front of them, to hate and despise, is not the other person, but their inner self, whom they have never fully accepted and embraced.

Also, how many stereotypes, hardcoded to our early programming, are preventing us from actually perceiving the other person? “Women are weak“. Or “men do not cry“. Or “good children say always yes and please their parents“. Again, these are all indications of unresolved issues that reside into us and we have not had the courage to admit, especially when we are not tuned in or comfortable with our emotions and we are living in an almost solely cognitive, auditory digital state of mind.

All the above examples of projecting our inner world, beliefs, perceptions, etc. to the other person, like a fully directed mirror, serves as a defensive mechanism, as a protection of one’s ego.

Now I recall one of my favorite songs that has this set of lyrics: “never look straight into another person’s eyes, because they turn into a mirror which you want to smash in thousand pieces…”, (because, obviously, you cannot stand whatever you see, i.e. whatever you project, from your deeper self).

Families, friendships and professional relationships are suffering from this projection. People can experience constant fights, long-term arguments, misunderstandings, and years of misconceptions, that leads to even more hostile situations, let alone destructive behaviors and the termination of relationships. Relationships where, sometimes, one has never ever perceived the other, as how they really are. Either by idealizing people or by simply constantly rejecting them, the result is the same: lack of perception of the reality.

And how can one overcome it?

If I had a direct solution, I would also apply it to myself and my close ones. 🙂

What I can quickly say is that one should have an extremely sharp sensory acuity so as to resist filters and perceptions and gather with all their senses the maximum amount of sensory data about a person. Active listening, visual proximity, real connection and rapport with the other person, are key for this. They create an actual channel to ampathuse with the other person.

But, most importantly, I would say that one should deep dive into themselves first. Dive with sincerity, compassion and acceptance. Explore the amazing truths about oneself, love them and make peace with them. If in a person’s inner self and deeper structure there is love, beauty and acceptance, that is what they will project to the others. If openness and compassion resides into one’s self, that is what they will project to other people. And poof(!), like magic, the other people, still being the same, might look (and react) differently, in an extended and expanded space that allows them to be themselves.

Projection can never be totally overcome, I feel, but the more one heals their inner self and comes into rapport with their deeper structure, the more the narrow-sighted projections are removed, the ego is collapsing, and the communication is facilitated, along with connection and growth.

Who knows, one has once said that “beauty will save the world”… I am stubbornly optimistic that this might be already happening… ❤️