Respect for the other person’s model of the world

That’s a hard one. How easy is it to say that we respect the other person’s reality and model of the world and actually do so?

How do we stop our projections and assumptions?

In a world full of sensory information and data that we are equally exposed to, each one of us has different filters that generalise, distort or delete certain amounts of information. These filters, combined with our values and beliefs, result into various different perspectives, views, maps and “realities” of the “same” world. We focus on different things. We amplify different things. We distort information. We translate it in very certain ways, based on our priorities and beliefs. We put them on our maps and then we stick to this truth.

But, how can we show respect for another person’s model of the world?

We have to step into their shoes… (sic). But, how can we step into some other person’s shoes? Get into their head, see what they see, listen what they listen, feel how they feel, filter, think, act and speak as them? Well that’s a totally difficult thing to do.

It requires empathy, first and foremost. A skill that one can constantly cultivate and grow by actively listening and sensing the other person, by showing true and honest interest to their point of view, in a safe and trusted environment of openness and acceptance.

It might be difficult, in the first place and mind-blowing, almost draining. Conflicting values and beliefs. Different filters. “Every behaviour has a positive intent in some context“. How can you respect that?

In order to reveal what you see in a person’s behaviour, you have to deep dive into their deeper structure and unveil parts and pieces of their model of the world. To achieve this, one has to ask the right questions and stretch his or her reality, pick and bring forward more details, known or unknown, sensed or not sensed yet.

In order to identify and perceive something, especially an emotion, one has to have already experienced it, that is, have prior “knowledge” of it so as to be able to recognise it in another person (you don’t know what you don’t know, so you can’t recognise what you don’t know). For example, one has to have experienced love and affection and know how it (truly and healthily) looks and feels like. Or fear, loneliness, insecurity, and other things, so as to grasp only a “sneak peek” on another individual’s model of the world.

But again, you don’t have to fully understand it, let alone agree with it. But you have to respect it. It’s the essence of individualism, the essence of uniqueness and a great field of learning. Boundaries, flexible or not, are always the key to keep each model whole, and meet other people in their true colours and dimensions.

I see a rainbow rising…, and I am going home…