We cannot ΝΟΤ communicate

Which means that one way or another, we do communicate and there is always an outcome, even if there is no tangible message, rather than the absence of it. Notably, sometimes silence is a stronger communication means than words. It sends the implied message that “I need space, I need time, I need the resources to think, to listen to me, to find me (or redefine me), to rest and reset”.

As humans, we do have limited resources and we invest them every day to various directions. Personal, professional, societal interactions can drain our mind, our soul and our heart, beyond our physical body.

We establish bridges to connect and communicate with people, we exchange messages, lots of information, tons of data back and forth. Like flashes of light running fastly, to constantly transmit small units of data and cover for all interactions. And the information flows across all channels, easier or harder, but it flows. And life happens.

But what happens when communication gets overloaded? When the outcomes are not equally received and perceived by the two sides? What happens when ego comes constantly in the forefront? What happens when people do not respect one another and their perception of the world? Even if every behaviour has a positive motivation, the lack of behavioural flexibility is the cause of all miscommunications.

People get hurt. I got hurt. Hurt by expectations, by dreams, by realities that I have constructed and lived happily ever after and then they collapsed. You cannot live in an imagery world. And then comes pain. Physical, emotional. The body aches and the mind follows, and vice versa. And then you need to step back. It’s a one-way direction. You don’t touch, you don’t see, you don’t smell, you don’t taste, you don’t listen to the other person. Violently or not, communication changes. It takes another form. It takes the form of thoughts, of senses, of silence. It screams for (self-) love and safety. When everything has been done in the tangible way, and everything failed, then something has to change, for the communication also to change. If you try always in the same way, you will always get the same results… And it’s not exactly failure. It’s feedback. Sensory. Ache. Bleeding traumas. Tears. Sad faces and long awake nights. What went well? What could go better?

We very well projected unresolved traumas to one another. We are not even sure yet if we loved the other person really. Who knows? My silence, my distance, my thoughts are my communication message and outcome to you. I will “love” you eternally, thank you forever, and keep communicating in magical ways, alternative ways, where we shall be free from our egos and the masks that we were wearing.

And the serendipity of the day? All of this. All this realisation that we cannot not communicate. This gives me a false safety that we still communicate, that I have you always with me.